A personal story.

When my mother died, she had a will. It was outdated. Many of her willed items had already been distributed. She had household goods that I wanted for sentimental reasons. My sibling cleared out her house and took everything to his home without my permission. I was the executor, but could not be in Virginia at that time. I live in California. Medical reasons prohibited me from travelling.

As the executor, I requested (required) an accounting of everything that he had removed. I was entitled to that and he complied, after pressure.

As executor, the distribution of the unwilled items was up to me. I asked each relative if there was a particular item they wanted. Some told me, some did not. I made a list and tried to do a rather even distribution. There were disputes. There were arguments.

Finally, after two months of haggling  long-distance, it was settled.

If you have things that you might want someone to have, either give it to them now, or document it for later. Have a codicil made for your will. Update, update, update.

Don’t put your relatives through what we went through.