Now we are heading into some questions that really do need attention. If you have minor children and have not appointed a guardian for them, you are seriously delinquent. All children under the age of 18 need a guardian. Do you want your in-laws bringing them up? How about your siblings? Maybe they do not share the same values as you; maybe they are alcoholics or drug addicts; maybe they are religious fanatics and you aren’t.

Your children need a safe, secure and loving environment should anything happen to you. They need to know how much you loved them and planned for their happiness if you would not be around to provide it.

Please think hard about this question. It is a vital part of your future! See your attorney and get this issue resolved.

I recently received this letter from a customer who wanted to tell me about what happened:

“Please find enclosed my check for $71.94 for the purchase of six copies of your book Caring Is Not Enough.

We lost a very dear friend very unexpectedly last night at the age of 54. He was jogging and suffered a heart attack. To make this so sad, he lost his wife to cancer in March of this year. They leave behind two young adults, a 25 year old son and 24 year old daughter. He had the foresight to have his affairs in order but there are so many other questions that remain. A friend showed me your book today, what a valuable book.

Again I would like to order six of these for friends and ourselves.

Thank you so much.”

D.M.

And you? Are you ready? Think about it.

www.caringisnotenough.net

I have had the wonderful opportunity of becoming the chief caregiver for my husband of 42 years. He had spinal fusion surgery on 9/3/09 and we are working towards recovery.

I have been teaching about caregiving for many years with all kinds of hints and information. With the exception of taking care of my children and grandchildren, I have never had the chance to practice what I preach. Now I have.

First, let me tell you that caregivers are angels. The mere fact that they can dedicate themselves to tending to the needs of another elevates them to the level of Mother Teresa.

Post-op patients are not easy. I know this from many years in nursing. Post op patients who are your spouse are even more difficult as you love them directly and must suffer the slings and arrows that come your way without processing the words.

I lift my glass to all caregivers. You are unique in your jobs and without you the world would be less of a good place. Bless you all for all you do.

Your families love you for your time and dedication.

Please take some time for yourselves. I now realize just how precious that time can be, and how very necessary it is.

A personal story.

When my mother died, she had a will. It was outdated. Many of her willed items had already been distributed. She had household goods that I wanted for sentimental reasons. My sibling cleared out her house and took everything to his home without my permission. I was the executor, but could not be in Virginia at that time. I live in California. Medical reasons prohibited me from travelling.

As the executor, I requested (required) an accounting of everything that he had removed. I was entitled to that and he complied, after pressure.

As executor, the distribution of the unwilled items was up to me. I asked each relative if there was a particular item they wanted. Some told me, some did not. I made a list and tried to do a rather even distribution. There were disputes. There were arguments.

Finally, after two months of haggling  long-distance, it was settled.

If you have things that you might want someone to have, either give it to them now, or document it for later. Have a codicil made for your will. Update, update, update.

Don’t put your relatives through what we went through.

Perhaps you have a special song. Perhaps you loved a particular book. Maybe you really love a very special vase.

It could be anything that means something to you that does not have a great financial value. I really do not suggest that you are buried with your engagement diamond or favorite Picasso painting. Those types of items should be left to people you know would treasure them as much as you do.

But there may be a little tiny book of poems that you enjoyed reading daily. When a friend was buried,  a CD of Vivaldi music  was placed into the casket. In some religions this may be a symbol of music that will guide the way to paradise.

Let’s face it. You will not be reading or listening to music. It is only symbolic. Nevertheless, it may be important to you. So plan it now!

Question #71: Do you wish to be buried in any particular clothing or jewelry?

One dear friend of mine and I decided that when we finally die, we will be a size 4 and we want to wear something really sexy.  Not that anyone will really care, but we do.

Some people do have a particular dress or suit that holds some meaning for them and they would like to be buried in that. I think that it is somewhat inappropriate to be buried in any valuable jewelry as it seems to be a waste. There must be someone somewhere who would enjoy wearing the piece. I can understand wearing a wedding ring, just not a diamond.

The whole process may not be something you wish to think about, but someone will have to someday. So if you care about this issue, why not write it down and be done with it.

If you want to look like this, that’s fine too!

According to the 911 call on Michael Jackson, the cardiologist had Michael on the bed and was doing CPR. Anyone who has ever taken Basic life support knows that you immediately put the patient on the floor or a hard surface to begin CPR. What kind of cardiologist was this guy?

Here we go again.

“Jackson never communicated to his family who he had in place to handle his business affairs, the person said, adding that they were told by the singer’s phalanx of advisers that the singer likely had a will, but it may be many years old. The family is distrustful of what they are being told — but they are determined to find out more, the person said.”

“There are decisions going down without the family being in the loop; it’s becoming an issue.”

Hear my plea: get your information together and keep it up to date. For you, your family and the people who matter in your life. My book costs all of $10.00 plus S & H.

www.caringisnotenough.net

Today the world is mourning the early demise of a pop icon, Michael Jackson. Every day we will learn more about this unusual and talented individual. And we will learn more and more about his death. I just heard the 911 call on the radio. Strange.

My concern is for his family and loved ones. Did he take the time to write down his last wishes? I wonder. Can someone so celebrated be left in the lurch when it comes to what he really wanted? Or will it be up to his handlers, his lawyers, his security or his financial people? Could it be that he would have preferred to be buried with some of his favorite things? What were they?

Just the same old question and the same old answers from me. Please please please get your  information in order now. Before you are not in any condition to do so. How wonderfully peaceful it will be for those who love you to know that they are handling things according to your wishes. How easy you have made it for them..www.caringisnotenough.net is where you can find my little book to help you document the information.

I saw Michael Jackson once. We were coming into the Princess Hotel in Hamilton, Bermuda from a ride on the glass bottom boat. There he was, walking across the lobby with McCauley Culkin, who was probably 8 at the time. A strange couple, but a moment in time that I will not forget.

www.caringisnotenough.net

Many people have given little thought as to how they would like their obituary to read. Perhaps you should consider the content. Maybe you served in the military and that part of your life was very important to you and the person that you are. You want your friends and family to know just how much that meant to you. Maybe your volunteer work at your local school or hospital defines you. Or perhaps it is all about your work and how you gave many years to a business or organization.

Maybe you simply want the date of your birth and your chronological history in your obituary. Maybe you don’t even want an obituary.

Whatever your choice, it is important to document that and let your family know your wishes.

I sometimes wish these questions were not here because we really do not want to think to much about this issue. However, it is a good idea to let the family know what your choices are so that it will be easier for them when the time comes. So…here goes:

#67: Do you wish a religious service?  If so, what is your affiliation?

#68: For those of faith, do you have a rabbi, priest or mullah? Who are they and how can they be reached?

#69: Are there any readings, music or special events that you would like to have at your funeral?

Some of us might prefer a simple ceremony which can be led by a friend or family member. You need to be very clear about the way you would like your service conducted.

Here are some more questions that you would be prudent to answer or at least think about so that everything will go smoothly for your family when the time comes. It will also reflect your wishes and how you want them carried out. Don’t worry, there are more to come after these….

#60: In the event of your death, who would you like notified?

#61 Do you desire a wake?

#62: Where?

#63 Is it financed?

#64: Do you wish to be an organ donor?

#65: Do you want your body donated to a medical school? If so,     which one?

#66: Do you have a gravestone? A desired inscription?

This is the topic that nobody wishes to discuss, but everyone needs to think about so that when death occurs, the planning of your funeral will not be left entirely to your grieving family. It also will ensure that you have the funeral and interment of your choice.

#51: Have you made arrangements with a funeral home? If so what is the name of the funeral home and what is the phone number?

#52: Do you have a cemetery plot? Location and cemetery phone number should be listed here.

#53:Have you allocated any funds for your burial?

#54: Do you have individuals designated as pallbearers? What are their names and phone numbers?

#55: Do you have a mausoleum slot or a a prized urn you inted to use?

#56: Where are these items located?

#57: Do you wish cremation?

#58 If cremation is your choice, have you arranged for this?

#59: Where do you wish to have your ashes spread?

Now that you have taken a look at these important questions, I will present more in the next post. This is very important information and your family will be very grateful that you have put it  in order.

I have chosen to combine the next three questions.

Do you have an accountant?

Name, address and phone number.

Lots of people use sevices such as Jackson and Hewitt or H & R Block. I would assume that these companies would be able to provide your income tax information to your executor as needed. Otherwise your personal accountant would have to be contacted.

Often, an income tax return needs to be filed post mortem.

Question # 49: Where are copies of the last three years of your tax returns? Please make sure this information is readily available. It will be needed.

Question #50: Where are the last three years of your cancelled checks? Lots of people pay online now so they do not use checks. Make sure you identify which companies you pay online and what the User ID’s and Passwords are. This information is requested later in the book.

I think the tragic shootings in Binghamton, NY might awaken us to the fact that ,while it may not be likely, one day we may get up, go to work or play, and never come home.

Why is it so very hard for people to accept the fact that we all die? One way or another, we all die. There are no miracles that will save us from death.

With that in mind, we should prepare all of the information that our family will need. I have worked hard to design a simple, inexpensive ($11.99) little book for people so that this information can be in one place.

The information you include in the book is vital for your family. It will substantially ease their workload during a time of grief. They will praise you for doing this. Once you complete the work (1-4 hours) you will have extraordinary peace of mind.

Please think of the families of the victims in Binghamton. Take care of your last wishes and personal records now.

Caring Is Not Enough, My Last Wishes and Personal Records may be purchased at www.amazon.com or at my website www.caringisnotenough.net

Your family will thank you.

Simple.

What are the benefits derived from your union?

What is the phone number for the union for changes and/or cancellations?

This information may be very pertinent in case of emergency or death.

Sounds simple,  right? Many people forget that they might have money in a credit union from work or even from buying a new car. When I purchased a new car, I paid $25.00 to a credit union to get a great car loan. After the loan was paid off, I was still a member of the credit union and there was actually a bit of money in there.

So: if you have ever used or currently do utilize a credit union for something, please make sure you document the Plan Name and the phone number.

Who knows, there may be little money there! I love finding money!

Perhaps the tragic death of the beautiful actress, Natasha Richardson, will prompt you into preparing your information for your family, should your life end as abruptly.

We mourn her passing. We grieve for her young children and handsome husband who will never see her again.

Please get your last wishes and personal information prepared.

You never know when life will end.

www.caringisnotenough.net

Today, many individuals seek out financial planners to guide them through estate planning or to simply give them advice on money management. Because your 401K , IRA, pension plan or savings may be managed by your financial planner, it is vitally important that you document the following information for your executor and/or family:

Financial planner’s name

Company

Address

Phone Number

We are beginning the series of financial questions that need to be documented.

What is the name of your bank? Is there a branch that you use locally? Perhaps the name of the manager of the bank? These answers will be among the most helpful for your executor and/or family members so that they can begin the process of paying for any of the burial choices you may have made. In addition, rent/mortgages may need to be paid and any outstanding bills will have to come from your accounts.

What is the address?

Phone number?

Finally, where do you keep your checkbook/checks?

Money makes the world go round; we may not have enough of it, but whatevver we have may help!

Question # 41: Do you receive Social Security benefits or Social Security Disability benefits?

Question #42: Are you entitled to Social Security burial costs?

Question # 43: What is your social security number?

	The following is taken from the Social Security Administration #05-10084 www.ssa.gov 800-772-1213 toll free 800-325-0778 TTY The following provides a general overview of Social Security survivor’s benefits. The information it contains is not intended to cover all provisions of the law. For specific information about your case contact Social Security. The loss of the family wage earner can be devastating to the survivor’s. This is an explanation of the benefits Social Security can provide for the family.
Who Can Get Survivor’s Benefits? When you die, Social Security survivor’s benefits can be paid to your:

• Widow or widower -full benefits at age 65 or older (if born before 1938) or reduced benefits as early as age 60. (The age for receiving full benefits gradually increases for person born after 1937 until it reaches age 67 for person born in 1960 or later.) A disabled widow or widower can get benefits at age 50-60. The surviving spouse’s benefits may be reduced if he or she also receives pension from a job where Social Security taxes were not withheld.
• Widow or widower at any age if she or he takes care of your children under age 16 or disabled who get benefits;
• Unmarried children under age 18 (or up to age 19 if they are attending elementary or secondary school full time.) You child can get benefits at any age if he or she was disabled before age22 and remained disabled. Under certain circumstances, benefits also can be paid to your stepchildren grandchildren, or adopted children; or
• Dependent parents at age 62 or older.

Special One-Time Death Benefit
There is a special one-time payment of $255 that can be made when you die if you have enough work “credits”. This payment can be made only to your spouse or minor children if they meet certain requirements.

How Do I Apply For Benefits?
How you sign up for survivor’s benefits depends on whether or not you’re getting other Social Security benefits.

If You Aren’t Getting Social Security Benefits
You should apply for survivor’s benefits promptly because, in some cases, benefits may not be retroactive. You can apply by telephone or at any Social Security office.

The Social Security Administration needs certain information to process your application. It is helpful if you have it when you apply. But don’t delay applying if you don’t have everything. They will help you get it. They need either original documents or copies certified by the agency that issued them. The information needed includes:

• Proof of death-either from funeral home or death certificate;
• Your Social Security number, as well as the workers’;
• Your birth certificate;
• Your marriage certificate if you’re a widow or widower;
• Your divorce papers if you’re applying as a surviving divorced spouse;
• Dependent children’s Social Security numbers. If available;
• Deceased workers W-2 forms or federal employment tax return for the most recent year; and
• The name of your bank and your account number so your benefits can be directly deposited into your account.

If You’re Already Getting Social Security Benefits
If you’re getting benefits as a wife or husband on your spouse’s record when he or she dies; you should report death to the Social Security Administration and they will change your payments to survivor’s benefits. If they need more information, they will contact you.

If you’re getting benefits on your record, you’ll need to complete an application to get survivor’s benefits. Call or visit the Social Security Administration and they will check to see if you can get more money as a widow or widower. They will need to see your spouse’s death certificate to process your claim.

Benefits for any children automatically will be changed to survivor’s benefits after the death is reported to us. They will contact you if they need any more information.

How Much Will I Get?
The amount of your benefits is based on the earnings of the person who died. The more he or she paid into Social Security, the higher the benefits will be.

The amount you will get is a percentage of the deceased’s basic Social Security benefit. The percentage depends on your age and the type of benefit you are eligible for. Here are the most typical situations:

• Widow or widower, age 65 or older-100 percent;
• Widow or widower, age 60-64 about 71-94 percent;
• Widow, at any age with a child under 16-75 percent; or
• Children-75 percent

Question 38: Are you entitled to veteran’s benefits?

Question 39: Are you entitled to veteran’s medical care?

Question 40:Are you entitled to veteran’s burial costs?

The first question you need to address is whether or not you are a veteran. If you have served in a branch of the military or in an number of other capacities for the US Government you may be eligible for VA services and benefits. Please call the following number to determine your eligibility:

1-800-827-1000

You have probably heard just about enough about the stock market. Don’t worry, I am not going to talk about it. I just want you to think about how you felt when you read the title of this post. The Stock Market.

Your stomach probably sank and you may have felt faint. You may have felt that everything you have worked so hard for just went up in smoke. Perhaps you are worrying about your loved ones. Maybe you think you will never be able to do all the things you wanted to when you retired.

Let’s be blunt. I know nothing about the stock market. But I do know that the feelings you may have just experienced are not dissimilar from the feelings your family will have if you do not put everything in order for them.

No, it may not be much, but it sure will be helpful for your executor to have the vital information needed when the time comes. You can make it so simple. So accessible. So convenient.

Please prevent the feelings that could occur to your loved ones, just by filling out this simple little book. Then everything will be in their hands when they need it. And they can think of you and remember the wonderful times you had together. This little book may be the best investment you will ever make!

www.caringisnotenough.net

This is a question that might surprise some of the younger readers. Sometimes people who are wary of interference by the government or other people, hide precious assets in a secure place. Perhaps the individual has coins or jewels that, in their opinion, are not safe in a safe deposit box. They might opt to dig a hole in the ground in the backyard and place the assets there. Maybe they cut the mattress open and hid the assets there. If this is something that you have done, or might do, it is vitally important to note where you have stored your cache.

Otherwise, it might stay there forever. Oh dear!

This is a relatively obvious question with the exception of the fact that today many people do not hold their own certificates. Therefore we continue with

Question #35: If you hold certificates, where are they located?

Again a relatively self -explanatory question.

Question # 36: Do you have a stockbroker?

If so, what is the stockbroker’s name?

With what company is her/she affiliated?

What is their phone number?

Please document this information. Do you have any idea how many stock/bond certificates are found when someone dies? How much simpler it would be to know where to look and where to redeem these?

Think about it!

That being said, many do not hold the certificates any more. So make sure the broker’s name, company and address is written down. It is important , as you will note when we finally reach the end of this journey, to document your used id’s and passwords so that your account can be easily accessed by your executor.

Don’t leave your family stranded in the desert.

Once again we see the morning news and realize that more sadness has come upon us. We have lost a vital Human Rights Advocate . Alison L. Des Forges, a historian who documented the 1994 genocide in Rwanda and was an authority on human rights abuses in Central Africa, was a passenger on Continental Airlines Flight 3407 when it crashed near Buffalo on Thursday night, killing all 49 people on board. She was 66.

See how quickly a human life can be wiped out. Dr. Des Forges knew. That is why she worked tirelessly on behalf of the victims in Africa.

Another victim of this airplane crash was Beverly Eckert. She lost her husband in 9/11 and worked tirelessly on behalf of the families of 9/11 victims. Now she too is with her husband.

Life is, at best, tenuous. We can all do our part for our families by getting all of our information together in one place. This allows individuals to grieve and comfort instead of worrying about all of the fine details necessary to be addressed.

Please attend to this.

This is a combination of questions. If you do have/own/lease any of the above listed items, it is very important to make sure that the ownership is documented. It may be that you are paying the bank on any one of these items for a lease or toward ownership. Please note who it is you pay and where they are located. Also note where you keep any titles.

I have read that it may be a good idea to sign the pink slip. This may make things a little easier for the family. It may also be a good idea to will the items to whomever you might wish.

My mother owned a car which we gave her. I made sure that my name was on the title along with hers. When she died I was able to donate the car to an organization and take a tax deduction. Because I was on the title, no questions arose.

A timeshare is a form of ownership or right to the use of a property, or the term used to describe such properties. Timeshare properties are typically resort condominium units, in which multiple parties hold rights to use the property, and each sharer is allotted a period of time (typically one week) in which they may use the property. Timeshares may be on a part-ownership or lease/”right to use” basis, in which the sharer holds no claim to ownership of the property.

You are generally granted a deed. Because this deeded time is considered part of your estate, you need to document your timeshare information as well as where you keep your deeds/documents.

You most likely want someone to enjoy the vacations that you are granted by owning a timeshare, so make sure all of the information is available.

Marriott Desert Ridge Villas, Phoenix, Az.

A timeshare vacation club

Silver Stars are extraordinary, inspiring seniors who embrace a new view on aging. They are not limited by stereotypical boundaries. These senior Silver Planet Agers live active, fulfilled, informed lives. They reinvent themselves and redefine their work and lifestyles. Read about their extraordinary accomplishments and lives.

The 2008 Silver Star Award will be presented to the Silver Star from 2008 who receives the most online votes. Voting for your favorite Silver Star continues through February 20, 2009. The winner will be announced at the end of February 2009. Only Silver Planet registered users will be able to vote for their favorite Silver Star.

I urge you to go to http://www.silverplanet.com/lifestyles/silver-stars/silver-star-awards/silver-planet-2008-silver-star-award-38603 and vote for the Silver Star of your choice

Silver Planet is a great website!A favorite senior tickling the ivories!

#27: Do you own any other real estate? If so, where is it located?

In today’s markets you may find yourself with more than one house or no house at all. No matter, it is important to document the above information for your family. I was told of a man who bought a rental unit with 2 others. After a time he divorced and remarried. He died unexpectaedly. His wife (the newer one) found out about his share of the rental property only after he had died. Unfortunately, the earlier spouse’s name was on the original deed. See how complicated it can get?

#28: Describe the nature and worth of the property. Where is the paperwork (deed)?

This should be self-explanatory. Please make sure everything is in an environmentally safe place.  Values of property change. Try to update yearly.